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What is love

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Thursday, 28 August 2008
 

Let’s see, I am thirty five years old. In that time frame I can think of about 3 relationships that I can honestly say I was truly in love. They have all since failed…lol… I can say that after looking at all of them in retrospect, I had a lot to do with the failures. What you might ask, was my major screw up.. It’s simple; I failed to truly let myself connect. You, think, wow I can’t believe he is being this open on a public blog. Why not, we all suffer from the same problem. Ask yourself, how many relationships have you been in that have failed. Now how many did you play a part in that failure in some way shape or form. I know that everyone has a fault because in order to have a relationship two people have to come together as one unit. It doesn’t mean that you have to change yourself, but you do have to bend on a lot of things.

                When something bends it becomes weak in that spot. Just like people, when we make a change in the way we respond to a situation for example we feel vulnerable. When we are in a relationship and have to bend in a lot of areas for the good of that relationship we also feel at risk. Immediately it's, I am changing who I am, hell no. Who does this person think they are this is me if he/she doesn’t like it than I will move on… blah blah blah. Or we take it to the other extreme, “I am so tired of being alone that yes this person is not a match but it’s better than being alone. “

                The part of relationships that really gets me irritated is when it gets puts into a box. The whole rules of relationship are solely created for self protection. Everyone that I know has had to have the dreaded past conversation. Why in the hell does that matter, it’s this simple it’s the past. What good comes out of knowing the person you are trying to be with is a past slut or saint. Look at people who are in a good relationship that you know. The best examples are people who make it 30 and 40 years of marriage. Talk to any of them. I guarantee that what you will hear most is don’t sweat the small stuff.

                I think that now love gets thrown around too much. When my kids do something well and I am so proud of them that I enjoy it more than they do… That’s love. I love my cat; does that mean we are having a relationship? I love my truck; I have no plans on having sex with it. We have relationships with friends where love is there. Ultimately Love, in regards to relationship, is a decision to allow someone to see the true you. It is a feeling like nothing you can do will change this person’s strong feelings about you, within reason.  There are certain “rules of relationship” that have to be followed for example: cheating, lying, ECT. My take, only when we stop putting things into a box of protection will we ever find to true meaning of what LOVE is. My kids and I have a loving unconditional relationship, why because I let them be them. Yes I have to discipline them, but that’s being a parent.  If you can’t let a person be themselves then you’re not in love. Relationships fail because people jump into them to soon or don’t get out of them when they should. A diamond starts out as coal first before it’s a diamond.
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